1810. Nothing important has occurred this last year, but my removal to Cawnpore, and the commencement of my ministry, as I hope it may be called, among the Gentiles. This, with my endeavours to instruct the servants, has been blessed by the Lord, to the improvement of my temper and behaviour towards them, as I hope that I am more patient with them than before, though I have, alas! very much still to reproach myself with on this head. This whole year also, I have been more or less engaged in investigating the nature of language, with little further benefit as yet, than being enabled by it often to select the most proper words, even of those I never saw before. Ten years have elapsed, since I was first called by God, into the fellowship of the gospel, &c. See Memoir, page 325.
January 1, 1810.
A change of date that calls for serious thought. Another year gone, dear brother. How soon the tale will be told!
Well, if our days must fly
We'll keep their end in sight,
We'll spend them all in wisdom's way.
And let them take their flight.
They'll waft us sooner o'er
This life's tempestuous sea,
Soon we shall reach the blissful shore
Of blest eternity.
May every succeeding year find us increasingly laborious and holy, so that when time shall be no more, and rolling years shall cease to move, we may rest as faithful servants of our Lord, who have done their work. Well, but now for my congregation of the poor, the blind, the maimed and the lame. I went without fear, trusting to myself and not to the Lord, and accordingly I was put to shame, that is, I did not read half as well as the preceding days. I shuffled and stammered, and indeed I am persuaded that there were many sentences the poor things did not understand at all. I spoke of the dry land, rivers, &c.; here I mentioned Gunga, (Ganges) 'a good river' but there were others as good. God loves Hindoos, but does he not love others also? He gave them a good river, but to others as good. All are alike before God.' This was received with applause. On the work of the fourth day, 'Thus sun and moon are lamps. Shall I worship a candle in my hand? As a candle in the house so is the sun in the sky.' Applause from the Mahomedans. There were also hisses, but whether these betokened displeasure against me or the worship of the sun I do not know. I then charged them to worship Gunga and sun and moon no more, but the honour they used to give to them, henceforward to give to God their Maker. Who knows but even this was a blow struck, at least a branch lopped from the tree of heathenism. The number was about 550. You need not be deterred, dear brother, if this simple way of teaching do any good.
H. MARTYN. To the Rev. D. Corrie.
January 10, 1810.
I am this day returned from Lucknow, whither I went on Monday morning to baptize a child. The next morning the Nawaub Suadut All came to breakfast with agreat train. The Nabob received me sitting, with all the dignity of a sovereign prince, and my eyes for the first time beheld a despot, one who has full power of life and death over his subjects. He said not a word to me, relations sat at table and none else but the Europeans. Those natives who usually breakfast with the resident, stood round. At the tomb of Asafood doula there is a company of Molwees employed to read the Koran constantly. With them I tried my strength, of course, and disputed for an hour; it ended in their referring me for an answer to another.
February 4. (Sunday.) P -- preached for me at the General's. Colonel H. P. with his wife and Mr. H. dined with me, but rather against my will; they all came out to hear me preach in Hindoostanee, but I feel myself prodigiously callous to all sense of shame. Ever since the day that I was enabled to feel satisfied at the thought of being ridiculed, I feel almost incapable of being abashed, however poorly I may acquit myself. Most gladly let me glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. In the evening we had a service amongst ourselves, and I felt animated, so much so, indeed, that I was grieved to leave off though late at night, and my voice almost gone.
5. P. went away.
6. Mirza went away to Lucknow, to keep the Mohurrun after finishing the Acts in Hindoostanee.
11. (Sunday.) Usual services to the Dragoons, and at the General's. To the former I preached on, "I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you," and to the latter congregation on, "The time is short, it remaineth that they that have wives be as," &c. At night began the Psalms with Sabat and prayed; a service we are to have every night.
12-17. Incessantly engaged in Hebrew speculations, some whole days scarcely looking at a book; light seems on the whole to be breaking in, though I am very often fretful at my gross ignorance.
February 12, 1810.
Yesterday I had my usual services; first to the dragoons, then at head-quarters; in the afternoon to the beggars. The number was considerably increased, I suppose from the people's coming from the country to the Mohurrun. I spoke to them again on the promise of a Saviour, in expectation, and went on to the murder of Abel. There are no plaudits now. As for my once beloved Hebrew studies, discouragement has damped my ardour. I am now reading with great impetuosity and eagerness the Septuagint of the Psalms. There I see many more prophecies of Christ than in the English. In short I labour in vain to trace the connection between the verses of any of the mournful Psalms, except by applying them to Christ. Sabat goes on tolerably well. He has made a vow not to eat his dinner till one chapter in Arabic is done. Of course he finds no difficulty in keeping it. He prayed to-day for the conversion of the nations with great ardour, in such a way indeed that my heart warmed.
H. MARTYN. To the Rev. D. Corrie.
18. (Sunday.) My birth-day; to-day I completed my twenty-ninth year; how much had D. Brainerd done at this time of life. I once used to natter myself when reading his life, that when entering my thirtieth year, I might have the happiness of seeing an Indian congregation of saints won to the gospel through my preaching. Alas! how far is this from being the case; scarcely even an European can I fix upon as having been awakened under my ministry since coming here. To-day preached to the artillery. Preached at the General's on Phil. ii. 12, 13. "Workout your own salvation with fear and trembling;" in the afternoon to the beggars on "God saw that every imagination of the thoughts," &c, they were about seven hundred, and Sabat says he is sure all might understand who wished it. I saw some aged people affected with what they heard, and shaking their heads at particular parts in the same way as Europeans seriously affected. There are never any applauses now, it is, I trust, become a more serious meeting.
19. Translating an Arabic treatise on grammar; but all studies in philology are insipid to me, while the root of it, the language of God's word, remains unknown.
25. (Sunday.) Preached to the Dragoons on Gen. iii. 15. At the General's on 1 Cor. xv. 58. In the afternoon preached to the natives; a great multitude (near 800, I suppose) on the flood, and there was great attention; at the conclusion murmurs of applause.
February 26, 1810.
One day this week I dined with the-------'s, they, with a large party of the chiefs, had long been contemplating a trip to Culpee, and had fixed the day of their departure for Sunday next the 25th. I was determined to make an effort to prevent this public profanation of the Lord's day; and accordingly in the drawing room with the ladies after dinner, where I seldom appear, I opened my batteries and experienced an obstinate resistance for some time. At last conscience turned the scale with them, it was put off till Monday, and most of the party came to church yesterday. Sunday week I spoke to my Hindoostanee congregation on the corruption of human nature, "The Lord saw that every imagination," &c. In the application I said, "hence all outward works are useless while the heart remains in this state. You may wash in Gunga but the heart is not washed." Some old men shook their heads in much the same way as we do when seriously affected with any truth. The number was about seven hundred. The servants told me it was nonsense to give them all rice, as they were not all poor; hundreds of them are working people, among them was a whole row of Brahmins. I spoke to them about the flood; this was interesting as they were very attentive, and at the end said, 'Shabash wa wa' (well said).
Rev. D. Corrie.
Cawnpore, March 3, 1810.
MY DEAR SIR,
Thomason tells me wonders of yourself and your doings, your ardour, and ability, and more than I can repeat. Blessed he the Lord our head, who in wisdom dispenses his gifts, making some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, some directors, and some translators, for the edifying of the body of Christ. My thoughts are now constantly Hebrew, as I perceive that without some very great increase of knowledge, we shall be reduced to a dilemma in our translation. The Arabic version of the Psalms, now in the hands of all the Christians of the East, follows the Septuagint which in every single Psalm, differs very materially from the English. Which sense of the Hebrew are we to take? For my part, considering that the Septuagint has been sanctified as it were, by the quotations of the Apostles, and that the English is in many places unintelligible, where the Greek is plain; I would rather translate from the latter than the former.
How do the missionaries get on? D--·--, in a letter he sent us, tells us that he is translating the epistles into Orissa. You must be on your guard against all epistle-translations. It costs us days, to make one chapter in the epistles intelligible in the Hindoostanee.
Let me hear something about the children; I ought to demand a half-yearly report of them, as you do from me. How I should rejoice to sit with them at S------'s feet! but we sit at the feet of a better master.
Believe me to be, dearest Sir,
The Rev. D. Brown.
March 4. (Sunday.) Sermon both at the General's and to the artillery, on the parable of the prodigal; my own heart was affected with the love of God, and the people of both congregations were visibly affected too. After all, the rod of God's strength is the simple preaching of Jesus Christ. Preached to the natives in the afternoon.
March 5, 1810.
I lament your detention at Chunar, and the cause of it. So you are to go to Agra to be the founder of a Christian church, I hope, in that great Nineveh. Young ------and the------must be near you. I wish you may all come together, that I may experience a great rush of joy; such a conflux of saints in the Dooab has not been known, I suppose, since Jumna and Gunga united their streams. Yesterday I had to preach to two very small congregations at the General's artillery barracks, their aggregate not fifty. You, I suppose, were laid up, and P-------perhaps on a sand-bank, so that little was done in Hindoostan proper yesterday. But such fruitless days shall not continue much longer. If it cannot be said that the day has broke, let us hope that we see the morning star. I was not very well pleased with my discourse to the beggars yesterday. I fear I hurt their prejudices without removing them. On God's grant of flesh to Noah for meat, I said, therefore we kill and eat. If God had considered one animal more holy than another, why did not he say so? If for instance the cow had been excepted, why was it not said so? I say not, that in eating cow is any benefit, nor in not eating it any loss, but if you see others eat do not think it a sin.' There was a dead silence, and nothing said after it. I have been labouring a good deal this week to understand Romans vi. 7, 8. I am astonished at my ignorance of a subject of such vast importance. The whole of a believer's sanctification is interwoven with the work and person of Christ, and yet I do not know that I ever had two clear ideas upon the subject. Blessed be the goodness of the Lord, who carries on his work though his poor saints hardly know by what name to call it.
H. MARTYN. Rev. D. Corrie.
11. The last week spent as usual in translating with Mirza, into Hindoostanee, and most of my leisure in Hebrew speculations. I am persuaded it is not a phantom I am pursuing, because, notwithstanding the indistinctness of my views, I always see something. Preached at head quarters, Colonel H--s, on the parable of the Publican and Pharisee. To the dragoons on "Cleanse thou me from my secret faults." In the afternoon to the natives, with great acceptableness to them, and comfort to myself. I am now arrived with them at the calling of Abraham.
18. Preached to the artillerymen on Deut. iii. "Their foot shall slide in due time." Afterwards at head quarters, Colonel H. on the calling of Abraham: on the same subject to the natives in the afternoon, but there was not much attention.
Cawnpore, March 20, 1810.
The case of the Tanjore Christians is truly affecting. It called for instant relief, you rose at the call, and God was with you. Lord, increase our faith. Why are we not always more bold in our God. The readiness of the Calcutta people associates them in my mind with the loving Philippians, and goes a good way to reconcile me to a residence amongst them. As a symptom it is very important. It is a feature of apostolic times.
I hope the private communications from me, you were pleased to insert in the report, will not cross the seas, lest my pert remarks, concerning the existing versions of the Psalms should excite disgust. Yet it is but too true, that I do not understand one half, or half of one half, and the same must be said of the prophets.
I fear when -- begins to find what Sanscrit Grammar is, he will take a hasty farewell of it. I was six months at it, without getting out of the dark. Sabat creeps on, and smokes his hookah with great complacency, if he gets through a chapter a day. I grieve at this hireling spirit, but for peace-sake I have long ceased to say anything.
22. A few Christian friends, namely, Mr. and Mrs. D. and Mrs. H. dined with me, hut on account of the tiresome talkativeness of Sabat, our meeting was not very profitable; in prayer with them, I was I fear very unprofitable.
23. A letter from Mr. Simeon, brought me the news of my dear sister's death, an event I have long looked upon as certain, yet it affected me much, very solemnly and tenderly, she was my dear counsellor and guide for a long time in the Christian way, and she has finished her own journey very happily. My soul, through grace, shall pursue the same path, till I meet her again jn heaven. Oh, this vain world! what is there now in this howling wilderness to charm me. I have not a relation left to whom I feel bound by the ties of Christian fellowship, and I am resolved to form no new connection of a worldly nature, so that I may henceforward hope to live entirely as a man of another world. Having now been reading the law and the prophets to my servants for three quarters of a year, I thought them sufficiently prepared for hearing the gospel, so I began St. Matthew with them.
25. (Sunday.) Preached to the dragoons on Luke xvi. The rich man and Lazarus, much attention: at the General's, on Isaiah lxiv. "There is none that calleth upon thy name." There also I felt more animated than usual, and the congregation, which was considerable, was as usual, attentive. But oh, when shall I see all this preaching produce effect? I sometimes fear that I do not sufficiently conform to the blessed apostle's preaching in one respect. Do I deliver my message merely as a messenger? Do not I wish that the effect of the gospel should depend on something else than the power of God? Preached in the afternoon to about eight hundred natives, on the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrha: when I came to apply the subject to themselves, they seemed to feel it, for a great number of them began to make their remarks aloud. These things encourage me on two accounts, 1. It shows they understand me, and 2. That they are men of like passions with ourselves, the same things move them as move us, my preaching to them to-day was of course more according to the doctrine of John, than of the apostles. After finishing the narrative of the fall of Sodom, I said without further preparation, Do you too repent of your sins, and turn to God. See Mem. p. 326.
20-31. The Padre Julio, from Lucknow, in his way to Agra, was staying with me: constant conversation about the things of the world had a very deadening effect upon my mind, though sometimes indeed discoursing on religious subjects, but only in a way of dispute.
Cawnpore, March 30, 1810.
Since you kindly bid me, my beloved friend, consider you in the place of that dear sister, whom it has pleased God in his wisdom to take from me, I gratefully accept the offer of a correspondence, which it has ever been the anxious wish of my heart to establish. Your kindness is the more acceptable, because it is shown in the day of affliction. Though I had heard of my dearest sister's illness, some months before I received the account of her death, and though the nature of her disorder was such as left me not a ray of hope, so that I was mercifully prepared for the event; still the certainty of it fills me with anguish. It is not that she has left me, for I never expected to see her more on earth. I have no doubt of meeting her in heaven, but I cannot bear to think of the pangs of dissolution she underwent, which have been unfortunately detailed to me with too much particularity. Would that I had never heard them, or could efface them from my remembrance. But oh, may I learn what the Lord is teaching me by these repeated strokes. May I learn meekness and resignation. May the world always appear as vain as it does now, and my own continuance in it as short and uncertain. How frightful is the desolation which death makes, and how appalling his visits when he enters one's family. I would rather never have been born, than be born and die, were it not for Jesus, the prince of life, the resurrection and the life. How inexpressibly precious is this Saviour, when eternity seems near! I hope often to communicate with you on these subjects, and in return for your kind and consolatory letters, to send you from time to time, accounts of myself and my proceedings. Through you, I can hear of all my friends in the west. When I first heard of the loss I was likely to suffer, and began to reflect on my own friendless situation, you were much in my thoughts, whether you would be silent on this occasion or no? whether you would persist in your resolution? Friends indeed I have, and brethren, blessed be God! but two brothers cannot supply the place of one sister. When month after month passed away, and no letter came from you, I almost abandoned the hope of ever hearing from you again. It only remained to wait the result of my last application through Emma. You have kindly anticipated my request, and I need scarcely add, are more endeared to me than ever.
Of your illness, my dearest Lydia, I had heard nothing, and it was well for me that I did not. Your's most affectionately,
To Miss L. Grenfell.
April 1. (Sunday.) Preached to the artillery on "Search the Scriptures: "at the General's, on "He is able to save to the uttermost,"&c. To the natives in the afternoon, on Abraham's offering up Isaac. At night joined the men of the 53rd, who marched two days ago. I spoke to them from Exod. xv. 15. "Thou in thy mercy hast led forth the people which thou hast redeemed, thou hast guided them in thy strength to thy holy habitation." How necessary to the prosperity of my soul are these ministrations.
3. Finished 1st Epistle to Corinthians in Hindoos-tanee; wrote to G. and Lydia; with my men at night spoke on Matthew.
Cawnpore, April 3, 1810.
I do not know whether my spirits were low or not, when I last wrote to you, but this I know, that I need not go so far as Calcutta for occasions of sorrow. Every body would suppose Sabat improved: I fancy I see the worldly principle more predominant. Do not tell him any more that he is a learned man, the fact itself begins to be doubtful to me; but however that may be, it can only tend to strengthen his abominable pride, to tell him that he is what he thinks he is.
As you will not part with Shalome for five or six months yet, we shall have time to consider of the expediency of his coming to me. I have no hope of getting any thing from him, when all the versions and targum of the Polyglott are insufficient to afford me aid. The books however which you mention, I shall expect with impatience. Street's version; Hammond, who is a learned man. Home is all words. Nownextto oriental translations, my wish and prayer is, that I may live to give a new English version of the Bible, from Job to Malachi, and after that, to lead men to search for the principles of all true philosophy in the Bible. Such are some of my modest desires. Schultens on the Proverbs, I long so much to see, that I would go two hundred miles to fetch it. Do send it up by bungy. Also G. Liomlas' version of the Psalms. For these two I would give then-weight in gold. The gospels of Matthew and Mark, with errata, were sent off by dawk. The Epistle to the Romans in Arabic is translating for you.
I have had several letters from England this week of a mournful nature: my long-lost Lydia, however, consents to write to me again. My health, through mercy, is very well, notwithstanding all my vexations and fatigues. My church is almost ready for the organ and the bell.
Old Mirza gives me more satisfaction than any one in Cawnpore. He seems to take great pleasure in seeing an intricate sentence of the Epistles unravelled,
Your's ever most affectionately,
To the Rev. D. Brown.
8. (Sunday.) Preached to the 53rd. on the Parable of the lost sheep; at the General's on Job xxii. "Acquaint now thyself with God." To the natives began the history of Joseph, and to my men at night on Matt. iii. "Whose fan is in his hand."
Cawnpore, April 8, 1810.
I am more and more uneasy about Sabat; but I do not like to write my troubles. I long to see you here, to unburden my mind to you. The gospel of Matthew in the new Persian, and the Arabic of the Romans, will be soon sent to you. Let these again be submitted to the inspection of competent judges. Who were the persons that admired his Arabic of the Romans? Most affectionately yours,
To the Rev. D. Brown.
9. From the labours of yesterday, added to constant conversation and disagreement with visitors to-day, I was quite exhausted, and my chest in pain.
10. My lungs still so disordered, that I could not meet my rnen at night.
11. Passed the evening with Captain and Mrs. S-------and Mr. and Mrs. M. in profitable conversation. Passed a sleepless night.
12. Half alive all day, and very feverish. At night married B. the Judge to Miss G. Finished 2nd of Corinthians in Hindoostanee.
13. Much better, through divine mercy. Ministered to my men at night, and had such a delightful season in prayer as I trust I may not soon forget.
15. (Sunday.) Preached to the Dragoons on the parable of the pounds. At the General's on Luke xxii. 22. With the native congregation I strained myself greatly in order to be heard, and to this I attribute the injury I did myself to-day. Attempted the usual service with my men at night, but after speaking to them from a passage in scripture, was obliged to leave them before prayer.
16. Imprudently joined in conversation with some dear Christian friends to-night, and talked a great deal; the pain in the chest in consequence returned.
Cawnpore, April 16, 1810.
* * * * # * # * * * * * Is it possible that they can have been so ignorant of the languages, in which they have been sending forth versions. I am anxious to see their Epistle to the Romans in Hindoostanee, which I see from their circular letter they have done. It will then be more easy to judge of their real powers, because the four gospels are merely Fitrut's a little altered.
18. I do not know whether I may venture to tell you that I have a pain in my breast, occasioned, I fear, from over-exertion of my lungs on the Sundays; the Sunday before last it made its first appearance, and I was tolerably careful the whole week. Last Sunday it came on again at night, and I was obliged to leave my men in the midst. To-day (Wednesday) it is not gone. Such a symptom in my constitution is alarming; but let me assure you that in future I will be as careful as possible, if it be not too late. I do not know whether it is really a love to my work, or only the love of life, but I should be more contented to depart if I had finished the translation of the Epistles. The will of our God be done!
Pray for me. Prayer lengthened Hezekiah's life, perhaps it may mine.
Your's ever affectionately,
H. MARTYN. To the Rev. D. Brown.
17. Colonel W. calling, I had a great deal to say to him, but suffered for it.
18. Major F------called; I determined to be more careful; but, short as the conversation was, it hurt me. These symptoms are alarming in such a consumptive constitution as mine; yet why shall I say alarming, if my time is come, in the will of God. At the apprehended approaches of death, my guilt and neglects rise to view, and make me often unhappy, but though cast down, I am not dismayed.
Cawnpore, April 19, 1810.
I begin my correspondence with my beloved Lydia, not without a fear of its being soon to end. Shall I venture to tell you, that our family complaint has again made its appearance in me, with more unpleasant symptoms than it has ever yet done? However, God, who two years ago redeemed my life from destruction, may again, for his church's sake, interpose for my deliverance. Though, alas! what am I, that my place should not instantly be supplied wath far more efficient instruments. The symptoms I mentioned are chiefly a pain in the chest, occasioned I suppose by over-exertion the two last Sundays, and incapacitating me at present from all public duty, and even from conversation. You were mistaken in supposing that my former illness originated from study. Study never makes me ill--scarcely ever fatigues me--but my lungs! death is seated there; it is speaking that kills me. May it give others life. "Death worketh in us, but life in you." Nature intended me, as I should judge from the structure of my frame, for chamber-counsel, not for a pleader at the bar. But the call of Jesus Christ bids me cry aloud, and spare not. As his minister, I am a debtor both to the Greek and the Barbarian. How can I be silent, when I have both ever before me, and my debt not paid. You would suggest that energies more restrained will eventually be more efficient. I am aware of this, and mean to act upon this principle in future, if the resolution is not formed too late. But you know how apt we are to outstep the bounds of prudence, when there is no kind monitor at hand to warn us of the consequences.
Had I been favoured with the one I wanted, I might not now have had occasion to mourn. You smile at my allusion, at least I hope so, for I am hardly in earnest. I have long since ceased to repine at the decree that keeps us as far asunder as the east is from the west, and yet am far from regretting that I ever knew you. The remembrance of you calls forth the exercise of delightful affections, and has kept me from many a snare. How wise and good is our God, in all his dealings with his children! Had I yielded to the suggestions of flesh and blood, and remained in England, as I should have done, without the effectual working of his power, I should without doubt have sunk with my sisters into an early grave.Whereas here, to say the least, I may live a few years, so as to accomplish a very important work. His keeping you from me, appears also, at this season of bodily infirmity, to be occasion of thankfulness. Death, I think, would be a less welcome visitor to me, if he came to take me from a wife, and that wife were you. Now if I die, I die unnoticed, involving none in calamity. O that I could trust him for all that is to come, and love him with that perfect love, which casteth out fear; for to say the truth, my confidence is sometimes shaken. To appear before the Judge of quick and dead is a much more awful thought in sickness than in health. Yet I dare not doubt the all-sufficiency of Jesus Christ, nor can I, with the utmost ingenuity of unbelief, resist the reasonings of St. Paul, all whose reasons seem to be drawn up on purpose to work into the mind, the persuasion that God will glorify himself by the salvation of sinners through Jesus Christ. I wish I could more enter into the meaning of this "chosen vessel." He seems to move in a world by himself, and sometimes to utter the unspeakable words, such as my natural understanding discerneth not; and when I turn to commentators, I find that I have passed out of the spiritual, to the material world, and have got amongst men like myself. But soon, as he says, we shall no longer see as in a glass, by reflected rays, but see as we are seen, and know as we are known.
25th. After another interval, I resume my pen. Through the mercy of God I am again quite well, but my mind is a good deal distressed at Sabat's conduct. I forbear writing what I think, in the hope that my fears may prove groundless; but indeed the children of the East are adepts in deceit. Their duplicity appears to me so disgusting at this moment, that I can only find relief from my growing misanthropy by remembering him, who is the faithful and true witness; in whom all the promises of God are yea and amen; and by turning to the faithful in Europe--children that will not lie. Where shall we find sincerity in a native of the East? Yesterday I dined in a private way with-------. After one year's inspection of me, they begin to lose their dread, and venture to invite me. Our conversation was occasionally religious, but topics of this nature are so new to fashionable people, and those upon which they have thought so much less, than on any other, that often from the shame of having nothing to say, they pass to other subjects where they can be more at home. I was asked after dinner if I liked music. On my professing to be an admirer of harmony, cantos were performed and songs sung. After a time I inquired if they had no sacred music. It was now recollected that they had some of Handel's, but it could not be found. A promise however was made, that next time I came, it should be produced. Instead of it, the 145th Psalm-tune was played, but none of the ladies could recollect enough of the tune to sing it. I observed that all our talents and powers should be consecrated to the service of him who gave them. To this no reply was made, hut the reproof was felt. I asked the lady of the house if she read poetry, and then proceeded to mention Cowper, whose poems it seems were in the library, but the lady had never heard of the book. This was produced, and I read some passages. Poor people! here a little, and there a little, is a rule to be observed in speaking to them.
26th. From speaking to my men last night, and again to-day conversing long with some natives, my chest is again in pain, so much so that I can hardly speak. Well! now I am taught, and will take more care in future. My sheet being full, I must bid you adieu. The Lord ever bless and keep you. Believe me to be with the truest affection, Yours ever,
22. (Sunday.) Desired that the artillery might not be put in orders for divine service, as I feared I might not be able to go through all the duties of the day. Preached at the General's on Acts iii. "God having raised up his Son Jesus, sent him to bless you," &c. Afterwards administered the sacrament to several ladies, but no men were present, but the General and Major F. H. It was a more affecting season to me than I expected. I felt confounded at the sinfulness, and misery, and unfitness of myself and people, and did not know which was worst. In this frame every word of mercy was like water to the thirsty soil. In the afternoon went on with the history of Joseph to the natives, but was too much fatigued to be able to join the men at night.
23. Dined at the General's with a large party; they had fixed it for yesterday, but at my request put it off; it was as usual very silly and tiresome; I escaped as soon as possible, and came home with a determination to go to such feasts no more. I groan at the misery and vanity of the world, and humbly adore the mercy of God which hath separated me from them.
24. Dined at Col. W's: as there was none there but themselves, I hoped to have said much for their good, and indeed what I did say was attended to; but they are not prepared to hold a conversation on religious subjects. On that account I believe many people of the world vary the conversation, not always from disinclination to religious topics. On my return found a letter from Syud Hosyn of Bagdad, who has lately quarrelled with Sabat, and now sends me an account of Sabat's character, and what he says of me behind my back. Alas! these children are the children of the devil, more than any mortals existing. He is a liar and the father of liars. There are so many probable circumstances in his account, that I became very uneasy on account of Sabat. Nazir Ali from Bundlecund called to ask a question in the 10th of Euclid.
27. Had an eclairissement with Sabat and was more easy.
29. (Sunday.) Preached to the artillery half an hour before sunrise, on Acts xx. "Testifying to the, &c., repentance towards God." To spare my chest I spoke low and deliberately, in consequence of which there was more solemnity, and my heart was aifected. Afterwards at the General's, on Matt. xi. 28. "Come unto me all ye that travail," &c. I could do no more; for what with reading the baptismal service twice, and a funeral, I could neither speak to the fakirs nor to my men at night.
May 1, 1810:
I bless God that you are better. For myself I remain in a doubtful state. I had but two services on Sunday, yet was much exhausted. The occasional duties here are very great at this time. I am willing to hope the extraordinary weather is the cause of my pulmonary weakness. I have been out a good deal this week. Last Monday dined at a large party; made a resolution never to dine in a large party again if possible. Next day at Col.------'s in private. This was more agreeable because more profitable. I read Cowper to them and made them play some Psalms. As people begin to be less afraid of me than they were, and begin to invite me, a new field of usefulness is opened; but alas! I have not strength to do half my work.
To the Rev. D. Corrie.
Cawnpore, May 2, 1810.
Your request for a list of books has almost blinded me. Anxious to demonstrate that I am on the alert, warm in the cause, and ready to run wherever you like to send me, I have been on the search night and day for books. I have written to Baillie's to know what is to be had at Lucknow. I have been interrogating Mar-cellino, a Padre just come from them, about the remains of the Jesuit library, but from him I learn nothing. If you mean to solicit any out of the pale of translators, and of those whose hearts are translating, I think you must not call it a translation library. Let it be proposed to form a library consisting of such books as do not form a part of private collections. Dictionaries and other books of reference, learned works particularly, in other languages, because such are more rarely met with in India; in short, it should be such a library as may compensate for the privations, which the chaplains and others of literary habits suffer by leaving England. Travels into the East will be of use, because they tell us where Christians may be found, and in what state they are. So much for the library at present. I object to the Latin names of the Bible Depositary; if any be necessary, I should think Bibliotheca sufficient. If Bible is applied pat erochn to the Holy Scriptures, Bibliotheca may be to the Theca of the Sacred Scriptures.
I humbly beg pardon for disrespect to Bishop Home.
You have set me a most unpalatable task, in making me a critic, though I did propose to commence with Marshman about it. Since the receipt of your order, I read a little with Mirza, who desires me to tell you that it would be a great sin to publish their translation; for when it is gone forth there is no recalling it.
You shall have ray remarks on the said chapters as soon as possible. I should have said that I am getting better, though not yet well. I do not expect to be so till we have the hot winds. But every day added to my life is undeserved grace.
3rd. Since writing the above I have looked over the chapters. I had no conception they were so bad; but I may be mistaken, and most happy shall I be to find that I am--for next to the Chinese there is none of their works I have so much at heart. The blunder in chapter v. 32. is so important that I wish you would get some one else to look at it; for I can hardly believe my own eyes. I begin to despair of the-------'s works altogether. Nothing is yet done for India, absolutely nothing, if their Bengalee is like this. But let me see by all means their Epistle to the Romans in Hindoostanee.
If you wish a critique on their Sanscrit from this part of India, I can perhaps procure it. Send me a copy of the Habe Hindee Psalter. You are kind in proposing to help me in paying Fitrut, but there is no occasion-- let me have the honour of presenting the Bible Society with a Hindoostanee New Testament free of expence. When Fitrut has finished the New Testament, if you like, we two with Corrie and Parsons may club together to make him a present of 200 rupees. I have now left nothing unsaid. The Lord be with you.
Your's ever affectionately,
To the Rev. D. Brown.
May 6. (Sunday.) A man of the 8th Light Dragoons, having died this week drunk, I desired that this regiment might be paraded for divine service, though it was not their turn, and preached on Psalm 1. "These things hast thoudone, and I kept silence," &c. Preached afterwards at the General's, on "the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of prophecy; "but was quite exhausted by that, so that I could do no more for the day. Told the fakecrs my case, that I had a pain in my chest and could not speak to them this Sunday, that they ought therefore to pray for my recovery. Immediately a thousand exclamations were heard invoking long life, and health for me; and afterwards while I distributed the rice, the kindness of the poor things knew no bounds. Sent the first volume of the Bible Society Report to Col. W. commanding the station, with a letter.
7. Met my men again at night after a long absence. A tune they sung which I had often heard, brought my dear sister so strongly to my mind, that I could scarcely go on. I seemed to see her in heaven, and in prayer longed for the day when I might be made partaker with her of Christ's heavenly kingdom.
8. Temptations assail me every day, chiefly, desire of the ease and comforts of this world; but through grace I get through. Daily do thou enable me, O Lord, to renounce the world; to look for no rest or enjoyment on this side the grave; but to surfer with Christ here, that I may reign with him hereafter.
12. This evening thrown with great violence from my horse: while he was in full gallop, the saddle came off, but I received no other injury but contusion. Thus, a gracious Providence preserves me in life. But for his kindness I had been now dragging out a wretched existence in pain, and my blessed work interrupted for years perhaps. Sabat was much affected and gave thanks to God in prayer.
13. (Sunday.) Desired that there might be no service at the General's. Preached to the 53d on Elijah and the Prophets of Baal. In the afternoon baptized an old Hindoo woman, by the name of Christiana, she was brought by some Portuguese people; she knew very little, but was lowliness itself, and I did not see that I had any right to refuse her. Finished the history of Joseph with the fakeers. At night spoke with somewhat of an enlarged heart on "Thy kingdom come," to my men.
Cawnpore, May 14, 1810.
Remission of vocal labour, and the increasing heat of the air are restoring me to my strength, through the mercy of God; but every cold too often produces shooting pains in my chest. We are 'in deaths oft' from other causes. Last night my horse, which had not been mounted some days, went off with such joy, that the saddle-girths broke. With the saddle I was precipitated to the earth, and a Persian, who was witness to the scene, thought I had fallen to rise no more; but I am sitting well, with no other effect than lameness. Sabat was much affected, and gave thanks to God in fervent prayer with me. My last critique on the------'s Hindoostanee renders it unnecessary for me to return to that subject. A sheet large enough to contain all the emendations, would be larger than the work itself. Your plans, as they develope themselves, claim and possess my approbation and applause; as the eyes of servants look unto the hands of their master, so may our eyes wait upon the Lord our God. You have weathered the wintry storm, and now you live to see the blossoms of the spring. 'The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.'
Three translations will be a great deal to propose at the first set out, as they will require perhaps not much less than half a lac of rupees, but we must not be distrustful. If you set up but two, I fear the Hindoostanee must be left out, which is a pity, as it is so much more forward than the rest. Have you any information about the Malayim? is it done well? The Syrians are brethren, and must not be neglected in the daily ministration. "If any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." A collection for them would have no prejudices to encounter, the proposal would rather meet the ideas of people in general. Perhaps some of the B. S's. funds might be appropriated to the Hindoostanee. But I write without seeing half way into things, though you take so much pains to instruct me. The Arabic New Testament may be all translated by the end of the year, and will, if our lives are spared; but then it will not be all ready for the press; we can, however, keep the press constantly employed, if that will do, for the gospels will not require much attention, and the epistles scarcely any, if, as we intend, Sabat translates them with me; alone he could do nothing with them. I cannot say that I have found Sabat not learned in Arabic, I am clear that I have no right yet to judge him, my own acquaintance with the language being so imperfect. What made me uneasy was that I discovered eight or ten grammatical errors in the Epistle to the Romans, which after some anger and shame he was obliged to acknowledge. This would not disturb me if I were sure of making none myself, but I cannot be sure of any such thing. These are the things that European scholars will detect, while errors in idiom lie beyond their ken. Arabic scholars in India are notorious for their false concords; even Mr. Baillie's books are not exempt. What, however, is my opinion on the whole? Why that we shall never find in India so good a man as Sabat; and it will be wonderful indeed, if, with all the imperfections of his work, it is not decidedly superior to former versions. It will be a satisfaction to you to know, that Mr. Baillie has the highest opinion of Sabat's Arabic, and speaks in his praise to every body. I enclose the last letter I had from him.
I can hardly tell what the Colonel intends to do, he would rather give a donation than subscribe, but I want subscribers, that hereafter when they go home they may once a year at least, be reminded of the existence of the Bible. Mirza is become restive again, and wants to throw me off. He will stay to finish the New Testament, and then he talks of going. He pleads half a promise I made him, that at the end of the New Testament I would use my interest with some judge or collector to get him a place, in which case he would come to me from time to time to correct what I have got ready; but to work every day will blind him. He frets as often as he thinks of Sabat's salary; wants me to write a petition to the College Council for him; every day he is turning up some new stone. I pity the old man, and really think the company or the College Council ought to do something for him. As they once employed him to translate the four gospels, might not they be disposed to allow him something for going on with the rest? Albert Schultens and Street--Street is good for nothing, and you may have him back as soon as you please; so much for him. But Schultens must remain with me, though after a cursory look at his learned notes, I despair of ever learning Hebrew from books. I sit as before, hours alone, contemplating this mysterious language. If light does not break upon me at last it will be a great loss of time, as I never read Arabic or Persian. I have no heart to do it; I cannot condescend any longer to tread in the paths of ignorant and lying grammarians. I sometimes say in my vain heart, I will either make a deep cut in the mine of philology, or I will do nothing; but you shall hear no more of Scriptural philology, till I make some notable discoveries. If Doederlein's Hebrew Bible is small, and you do not use it, I shall be glad to see it, but there is no immediate necessity for it. Shall I send back Street or no.
I hope you have not dropped your design of visiting us.
Your's ever affectionately,
18. Calling at Colonel W's. to-day, I had much discussion with some officers and ladies there on the amusements of the world. But I could produce nothing clear and convincing; perhaps because I had not prayed for assistance. Colonel W. consented to become a subscriber to the Bible Society, but gave me little encouragement to expect many more at the station. On my return I felt dispirited at my own unprofitableness, and the unwillingness of men to co-operate with me in any thing good. Yet why should these things surprise or disappoint me? I read the 37th psalm with comfort, but most of all prayer puts new life into my heart. He hath said, "Call upon me in the day of trouble," &c. Sweet privilege! To unbosom myself to my Lord gives me relief.
20. (Sunday.) Preached at the General's, on Luke vii. 50--"Thy faith hath saved thee." On account of the heat, but few attended. Asked the General to become a subscriber to the Bible Society, to which he consented. In the afternoon with the natives began the history of Moses. At night to the men spoke on "Give us this day our daily bread." Very listless and carnal most of the day. In the afternoon in prayer, set myself to seek deliverance from this unhappy state, and after some time found my heart somewhat softened and humbled.
21, 22. Was much taken up with mathematical subjects, endeavouring to prove that the hardest bodies are those composed of the fifth order of regular solids or eicosohedrons, but could not, though I have little doubt of the truth of it.
23. Breakfasted and dined with the General. He would not subscribe to the Bible Society, but offered a donation of 50Z. which I would not accept.
24. Got considerable light on the construction of the Hebrew, blessed be God. A carpenter I sometimes employ, applied to me to deliver him from the oppression of a merchant, who had pressed his cart and his bullocks into his service against his will, which I did; but, oh, the tyranny and injustice of some amongst my countrymen in the East. God give me courage and wisdom, to stem the torrent a little in the place where I am, and stand up for the injured poor.
27. Divine service was ordered for the Artillery, hut when I had finished the first lesson, a shower of rain came on and we were obliged to leave off. To the natives in the afternoon, went on with the book of Exodus. They were not very attentive, but a great number were present. Went on at night with my men with the exposition of the Lord's Prayer.
May 28, 1810.
Right glad am I, dearest brother, to find you at hand, and that our God has preserved you in such good health. You will have few to preach to but the poor, if the church is not opened, which the General does not seem to wish it shall be. May he that holds the sweet influences of the Pleiades hold or loose the winds so as shall bring you most speedily and safely on.
To the Rev. D. Corrie.
June 2. Dear brother Corrie and his sister came, on his way to Agra. We called on the General, who desired me to prepare a sermon for the 4th of June, when he meant to celebrate the jubilee.
3. (Sunday.) Corrie preached to the Dragoons.
4. Before day we attended the grand parade of all the troops of the station. At nine Corrie read the service for the 25th of October, at the General's, and I preached on Psalm ciii. 1,2.
5--23. The weather dreadfully oppressive, night and day, so that I scarcely know how to keep myself alive at times. Dearest brother Corrie a great help and comfort to me. On the 10th, preached to the 53d. On the 17th, I was so ill from sickness and faintness that I could not attend Divine service; he preached to the Artillery, and at the General's; at my request the General put him in orders to remain at Cawnpore to help me.
Cawnpore, June 11, 1810.
The excessive heat, by depriving me of my rest at night, keeps me between sleeping and waking all day. This is one reason why I have been remiss in answering your letters. It must not however be concealed that the man Daniel Corrie has kept me so long talking that I have had no time for writing since his arrival.
Your idea about presenting splendid copies of the Scriptures to native great men has often struck me, but my counsel is, not to do it with the first edition. I have too little faith in the instruments to believe that the first editions will be excellent; and if they should be found defective, we cannot after once presenting the great men with one book, repeat the thing.
Before the second edition of the Arabic, what say you to my carrying the first with me to Arabia, having under the other arm the Persian to be examined at Shiraz or Tehran.
By the time they are both ready I shall have nearly finished my seven years and may go on furlough.
I am glad to find you promising to give yourself wholly to your plans. I always tremble, lest Mrs. Brown should order you home; but I must not suspect her, she has the soul of a missionary. If you go soon we shall all droop and die. Your Polyglot speculations are fine, but Polyglots are biblical luxuries, intended for the gratification of men of two tongues or more. We must first feed those that have but one, especially as single tongues are growing upon us so fast.
12. To-day I have requested the Commander of the forces to detain D. Corrie here to assist me; he said he did not like to make innovations, but would keep him here for two or three months. This will be a great relief to my labouring chest, for I am still far from being out of the fear of consumption. Tell me that you have prayed for me.
Your's, &c. H. M.
To the Rev. D. Brown.
24. (Sunday.) Corrie read and preached to the artillery on Rom. iii. 20, 21. In the afternoon I spoke to the natives; at night Corrie exhorted our men of the 53rd.
27. Spoke to the men of the 53rd on the latter part of Matt. vi. and Corrie prayed.
29. Finished the Hindoostanee New Testament. May the Lord seal it with his blessing.
July 1. (Sunday.) Corrie preached to the Dragoons, on "The hour is coming in which all that are in their graves shall hear the voice," &c. At the General's I preached on "Enter ye in at the straight gate, &c." and to the natives in the afternoon.
3. A fall of rain, the first, relieved me a good deal. The Lord be praised! Received a letter from Mr. R------ at Allahabad, desiring a correspondence on religious subjects.
5. Answered it. Much exhausted from speaking at the Dragoon Hospital, particularly in private, with a most obstinate self-righteous man.
8. (Sunday.) Corrie preached to the 53rd a funeral sermon on the death of one of their Captains. In the afternoon I spoke to the natives on the first commandment, with greater fluency than I have yet found. My thoughts to-day very much towards Lydia; I began even to be reconciled to the idea of going to England for her. "Many are the thoughts of a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand."
15. (Sunday.) Corrie officiated to the Artillery, and afterwards preached at the General's, where I read prayers. In the afternoon spoke to the natives on the second commandment. At night Corrie officiated to a good congregation of our men of the 53rd.
22. (Sunday.) Corrie officiated to the Dragoons. In the afternoon I spoke to the beggars on the third commandment. The evening, spent as usual on the Lord's day.
26. Began the correction of Matthew in Arabic.
29. (Sunday.) Corrie read prayers to the 53rd; the rain prevented him from preaching. In the afternoon, spoke to the natives on the fourth commandment. August 5. (Sunday.) Rain again prevented Corrie from doing more than reading the prayers to the 53rd. Spoke to the natives on the fifth commandment, with great ease to my body, and joy to my heart. Blessed be God, my strength is returning. Oh may I live to proclaim salvation through a Saviour's blood.
6. Heard of dear Des Granges' death. How mysterious are Jehovah's ways! Corrie and myself were both much afflicted at the loss of this excellent young man, and beloved brother.
7. Rather disappointed at receiving no Europe letters, when all around are hearing from their friends: this too is ordered by God, let me live more on him. Burying a corpse to-night I caught a severe cold, which appears only in the form of rheumatism. Blessed be God that my lungs are not affected by it.
12. (Sunday.) Corrie read and preached to the Artillery; in the afternoon spoke to the natives on the sixth commandment, mentioning the burning of women, men drowning themselves in the Ganges, throwing themselves under the wheels of Juggernaut's car, &c.
Cawnpore, August 13, 1810.
As you are determined to have a new type for the Arabic, it may as well be beautiful. I hope to procure from Baillie a specimen of small Arabic, from the best writer in Lucknow. You say, 'We cannot print except you come down.' I say in return, we cannot translate except we stay here. If you unsettle Sabat now, he will not recover his wits for three months. Oh that he had a little of your zeal, or even mine. I feel with you, like a bad rider upon a fiery horse; you carry me on with great rapidity, but I am in constant dread of breaking my neck. You and good Dr. Buchanan drag me, prematurely, I fear, into the light, and deaf to the cries of timidity, post me to the world as an Arabic scholar. Should some egregious blunder hereafter proclaim me an ignoramus, the fault will be yours, the disgrace mine. However, I am all obedience, and what is more, my heart is with you in all things--only give me a moment to consider and correct. There is no depending on Sabat for an accurate copy, even after the translation is selected. The seven chapters he brought to me, as a fair copy, had twice as many faults as lines. It is incredible the trouble I have to get any thing correct. But all labour in the glorious cause is delightful; I only lament the delay.
Yours ever affectionately,
To the Rev. D. Brown, Calcutta,
Cawnpore, August 14, 1810.
With what delight do I sit down to begin a letter to my beloved Lydia! Yours of the 5th of February, which I received a few days ago, was written I perceive, in considerable embarrassment. You thought it possible it might find me married, or about to be so. Let me begin therefore, with assuring you with more truth than Gehazi did his master, "Thy servant went no whither:'} my heart has riot strayed from Marazion, or Gurlyn, or wherever you are. Five long years have passed, and I am still faithful. Happy would it be if I could say that I had been equally true to my profession of love for Him who is fairer than ten thousand, and altogether lovely. Yet to the praise of his grace let me recollect that twice five years have passed away since I began to know him, and I am still not gone from him. On the contrary, time and experience have endeared the Lord to me more and more, so that I feel less inclination, and see less reason for leaving him. What is there, alas! in the world, were it even everlasting?
I rejoice at the accounts you give me of your continued good health and labours of love. Though you are not so usefully employed as you might be in India, yet as that must not be, I contemplate with delight, your exertions at the other end of the world. May you be instrumental in bringing many sons and daughters to glory. What is become of St. Hilary, and its fairy scenes? When I think of Malachy, and the old man, and your sister, and Josepha, &c. how some are dead, and the rest dispersed, and their place occupied by strangers, it seems all like a dream.
15th. It is only little intervals of time that I can find for writing; my visitors, about whom I shall write presently, taking up much of my leisure, from necessary duty. Here follow some extracts from my journal. * * * # * # * Here my journal must close. I do not know whether you understand from it how we go on. I must endeavour to give you a clearer idea of it.
We all live here in Bungalows, or thatched houses, on apiece of ground enclosed. Next to mine is the church, not yet opened for public worship; but which we make use of at night with the men of the 53rd. Corrie lives with me, and Miss Corrie with the Sher-woods. We usually rise at day-break, and breakfast at six. Immediately after breakfast we pray together, after which I translate into Arabic with Sabat, who lives in a small bungalow on my ground. We dine at twelve, and sit recreating ourselves with talking a little about dear friends in England. In the afternoon, I translate with Mirza Fitrut into Hindoostanee, and Corrie employs himself in teaching some native Christian boys whom he is educating with great care, in hopes of their being fit for the office of catechist. I have also a school on my premises, for natives; but it is not well attended. There are not above sixteen Hindoo boys in it at present; half of them read the book of Genesis. At sunset we ride or drive, and then meet at the church, where we often raise the song of praise, with as much joy, through the grace and presence of our Lord, as you do in England. At ten we are all asleep. Thus we go on. To the hardships of missionaries, we are strangers, vet not averse, I trust; to encounter them, when we are called. My work at present is evidently to translate; hereafter I may itinerate. Dear Corrie, I fear, never will, he always suffers from moving about in the day-time. But I should have said something about my health, as I find my death was reported at Cambridge. I thank God, I am perfectly well, though not very strong in my lungs; they do not seem affected yet, but I cannot speak long without uneasiness. From the nature of my complaint, if it deserves the name, it is evident that England is the last place I should go to. I should go home only to find a grave. How shall I therefore ever see you more on this side of eternity? Well! be it so, since such is the will of God: we shall meet, through grace, in the realms of bliss.
I am truly sorry to see my paper fail. Write as often as possible, every three months at least. Tell me where you go, and whom you see, and what you read.
17th. I am sorry to conclude with saying, that my yesterday's boasted health proved a mistake; I was seized with violent sickness in the night, but to-day am better. Continue to pray for me, and believe me to be Your ever affectionate,
17. At night was taken very ill; had much ado to keep myself from fainting; at first I felt unwilling to pray and look to God, but after considering that this was the time to exercise a patient and resigned spirit, I enjoyed much peace in all my sufferings.
Cawnpore, August 17, 1810.
MY DEAR G------,
I rejoice exceedingly in your kind remembrance of me, but above all that you stand fast in the Lord, and are still pressing towards the mark, for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Your letter of the 23rd of February, enclosing one from your sister, I received, and could have wished for a little more time to answer it rather more at length, but if I let this day's post go, I fear the Georgian will have sailed. In answer to your affectionate inquiries about my health, I may say that I am tolerably well. The sickness and faintness in which I was obliged to conclude the inclosed letter, are now nearly removed; but I am resolved to quit, for a while, my native assistants, mere exhausters of my strength, and recreate myself on the river-- though alas! it will be no recreation to me--for I am never so miserable as when idle. This last short sickness, has, I trust, been blessed much to me. I sought not immediately for consolations, but for grace, patiently to endure and to glory in tribulation; in this way I found peace. Oh this surely is bliss, to have our will absorbed in the divine will. In this state are the spirits of just men made perfect in heaven. The spread of the gospel in these parts is now become an interesting subject to you--such is the universal change. I have not much to say about it. All the English missionaries and chaplains, confine their attention almost exclusively to the translation of the scriptures, this appearing at present the first thing to be done. To preach so as to be understood, is no easy matter; nor even to translate. Do not omit writing a few lines in the cover of your sister's letters, as I shall be much interested about you.
Believe me to be yours affectionately,
18. Restored in some degree, but unable to resume my work. Sent off letters to Lydia and G-------.
19. (Sunday.) Corrie preached to the Dragoons, on the death of Captain Cummins, from Eccles. xi. "Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth;" &c. and I also endeavoured to make the same event useful at the General's, on 2 Peter iii. 11. "Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved," &c. Spoke to the natives on the seventh and eighth commandments; there were great numbers and great attention.
Cawnpore, August 22, 1810.
Shall I come down, or shall I not? I have an aversion to Calcutta, with all the talking and preaching to which I shall be tempted there; yet you insist upon it, and sooner or later I must pass through you to the sea, or I shall be buried here. Again, if we stir this year from Cawnpore, my promise to the Bible Society will not be fulfilled. Sabat will revel in the confusion of moving, and our fields will lie fallow.
We hope to be on the river in a day or two; not to go far from Cawnpore. On Sunday I preached twice, and have hardly recovered my breath yet. I want silence and diversion, a little dog to play with; or what would be best of all, a dear little child, such as Fanny was when I left her. Perhaps you could learn when the ships usually sail for Mocha. I have set my heart upon going there; I could be there and back in six months.
To the Rev. David Brown, Calcutta.
26. (Sunday.) Corrie preached to the 53rd on "God so loved the world," &c. John iii. 16. In the afternoon I spoke to the natives on the ninth commandment; there was not much attention, as my voice was weak through a cold.
September 2. (Sunday.) Corrie preached to the Artillery, and I attended a funeral. Afterwards preached at the General's for the last time, on "But now the righteousness of God," &c. Rom. iii. 21. To the natives on the tenth commandment, and endeavoured to shew them their sinfulness. Suffered in my chest a little.
3. Several times on the water, and found benefit from it.
Cawnpore, September 8, 1810.
I cannot undertake at this moment to reply at length to your letter of the 25th August. The twelve learned sections, would require as many sheets to do justice to the subject. Your tide rolls on with terrifying rapidity, at least I tremble while committing myself to it. You look to me, and I to Sabat; and Sabat I look upon as the staff of Egypt. May I prove mistaken! All, however, does not depend upon him. If my life is spared, there is no reason why the Arabic should not be done in Arabia, and the Persian in Persia, as well as the Indian in India. But all this is inconsistent with your plans of return. I enquired truly what would be the result of your consulting me about------. The rolling tide swept away my proposals bodily, well, let them go, since they deserved no notice. You are a perfect Lord Wellesley, amongst his nominal counsellors.
I am well and strong, except that the lungs ache after sermon; yet I go to sea (D. V.) to be stronger; the 1st November we begin to float down: the middle of December, shall be with you, and in a week be at sea; that is I; for Sabat must not persecute me upon the high seas. If Mocha cannot be seen, may I not have your permission to visit the Syrian Christians. I might be back again in April or May, and leave you with the rains. Unless you think the company of three or four jaundiced pilot-men sufficiently refreshing to me, chalk out some plan for me by which I may see something, or learn, or do some good. I hope your Shalome has not left you. I promise myself great advantage in reading Hebrew and Syriac with him. All your orders shall be executed with all convenient dispatch.
Yours ever most affectionately,
To the Rev. D. Brown, Calcutta.
9. (Sunday.) A letter from Mr. Brown, purporting that Sabat's performances were good for nothing, agitated me a good deal. Added to other accidental circumstances, it made me so nervous that I could sometimes hardly support existence. Resolved instantly on going if possible, into Arabia, to get the translation done there. Brother Corrie approved the plan, and in prayer for direction, I perceived no reason against it, so I wrote to Mr. Brown to that purpose; thus it seems a new turn is given to my life. Though tremulous in frame, I commit myself confidently to God my Saviour. I know in whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed to him. Preached to the natives as usual.
Cawnpore, Sept. 9, 1810.
Yours of the 27th ult. is a heart-breaking business. Though I share so deeply in Sabat's disgrace, I feel more for you than myself, but I can give you no comfort except by saying, "It is well that it was in thine heart." Your letter will give a new turn to my life. Henceforward I have done with India. Arabia shall hide me till I come forth with an approved New Testament in Arabic. I do not ask your advice, because I have made up my mind, but shall just wait your answer to this, and come down to you instantly. I have been calculating upon the means of support, and find that I shall have wherewithal to live. Besides the Lord will provide. Before him I have spread this affair, and do not feel that I shall be acting contrary to his will.
It is now almost needless to return to the subject of Sabat. When we come to Calcutta let him be confronted with his accusers, and let us hear his defence. It is just possible that things may not be so bad, but I have little hope. The truest character of Sabat is just that, 'He possesses astonishing powers of conversation, but is not learned.' Let me know what are the obstacles to my plans, and what the facilities, that I may have some certain ground to go upon in ruminating upon my future life. Will government let me go away for three years before the time of my furlough arrives? If not, I must quit the service, and I cannot devote my life to a more important work than that of preparing the Arabic bible.
Dear Corrie will write to-morrow. If any thing occurs to me I will write it in his letter.
Yours ever affectionately,
To the Rev. D. Brown, Calcutta.
16. (Sunday.) Rain prevented me having any service in public, the natives not being able to sit upon the grass, I could not preach to them.
Cawnpore, Sept. 17, 1810.
Herewith you will receive the first seven chapters in Persian and Hindoostanee, though I suppose you have ceased to wish for them. The Persian will only prove that Sabat is not the man for it. I have protested against many things in it; but instead of sending you my objections, I inclose a critique by Mirza, who must remain unknown. I am somewhat inclined to think the Arabic not quite so hopeless. Sabat is confident, and eager to meet his opponents. His version of the Romans was certainly not from the old one, because he translated it all before my face, from the English; but then, as I hinted long ago, he is inaccurate, and must not be depended upon. He entirely approves of my going to Bassorah with his translations, and the old one, confident that the decision there will be in his favour. In hopes of getting away in November from Calcutta, I shall make every exertion to leave this the 1st of next month, though no budgerows are to be had. So now, dear Sir, take measures for transmitting me with the least possible delay, detain me not, for the King's business requires haste. My health in general is good, but the lungs not strong. One loud dispute brings on pain. Yours ever affectionately,
To the Rev. D. Brown, Calcutta.
19. Finished the Hindoostanee of Genesis; spoke to the men at night on part of Matt. x.
22. Was walking with L. both much affected, and speaking on the things dearest to us both. I awoke, and behold it was a dream. My mind remained very solemn and pensive, shed some tears; the clock struck three, and the moon was riding near her highest noon; all was silence and solemnity, and I thought with some pain of the sixteen thousand miles between us. But good is the will of the Lord, if I see her no more.
23. (Sunday.) Corrie preached to the artillery, and I in the afternoon to the natives. Sabat went to Lucknow much against my will.
24. Dined with an immense party at Mr. G's. Corrie baptized the child.
26. Spoke to the men at night on "Come to me all ye that," &c. The General left the station.
30. (Sunday.) Corrie preached to the dragoons, at nine the new church was opened. There was a considerable congregation, and I preached on, "In all places where I record my name, I will come unto thee and bless thee." I felt something of thankfulness and joy, and our dear friends the same. The Sherwoods and Miss Corrie stayed with us the rest of the day. In the afternoon I preached the Gospel to the natives for the first time, giving them a short account of the life, death, miracles, manner of teaching, death, and resurrection of Jesus, then the doctrines of his religion, and concluded with exhorting them to believe in him, and taking them to record that I had declared to them the glad tidings that had come to us, and that if they rejected it I was clear from their blood, and thus I bid them farewell.
October 1. After a parting prayer with my dearest brother Corrie, I got on board my boat, and left Cawnpore; I did little the rest of the day but consider about some suitable text for next Sunday.
2. Writing sermon all day.
3. Still about sermon; in the evening reached Allahabad.
Allahabad, Oct. 3, 1810.
Thus far are we come in safety; but my spirits tell me that I have parted with friends. Your pale face as it appeared on Monday morning is still before my eyes, and will not let me be easy till you tell me you are strong and prudent. The first night there blew a wind so bleak and cold, through and through my boat and bed, that I rose, as I expected, with a pain in the breast, which has not quite left me, but will, I hope, to-night, when I shall take measures for expelling it. There is a gate not paid for yet belonging to the church-yard, may you always go through it in faith, and return through it with praise. You are now (twenty minutes past seven,) in prayer with our men. The Lord be with you, and be always with you, dearest brother.
To the Rev. D. Come.
4. Perpetually assaulted with temptations; my hope and trust is that I shall yet be sanctified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of my God. "Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean, wash me and I shall be whiter than snow." When I really strive after purity of heart, for my endeavours are too often little more than pretence, I find no consideration so effectual as that of the exalted dignity and infinitely precious privileges of the saints. Thus a few verses of 1 Eph. are more influential, purifying, and transforming than the most laboured reasoning. Indeed, there is no reasoning with such temptations, and no safety but in flight.
6. Called at Mr. E's this morning at Chunar, he was not at home. In the evening landed at Benares, and arrived at the Robinsons'.
7. (Sunday.) The church not having been quite prepared, it could not be opened, but we had service at Mr. S's, the collector's. A few attended. In the evening went to Mr. W--'s, the merchant's, and preached to some artillery, half castes, &c.
8. Called on the judge, baptized his child; in the evening left Benares,
From the Ganges, Oct. 6, 1810.
MY DEAREST LYDIA,
Though I have had no letter from you very lately, nor have any thing particular to say, yet having been days on the water without a person to speak to, tired also with reading and thinking, I mean to indulge myself with a little of what is always agreeable to me, and sometimes good for me; for as my affection for you has something sacred in it, being founded on, or at least cemented by, an union of spirit in the Lord Jesus; so my separation also from you, produced a deadness to the world, at least for a time, which leaves a solemn impression as often as I think of it. Add to this, that as I must not indulge the hope of ever seeing you again in this world, I cannot think of you without thinking also of that world where we shall meet. You mention in one of your letters my coming to England, as that which may eventually prove a duty. You ought to have added, that in case I do come, you will consider it a duty, not to let me come away again without you. But I am not likely to put you to the trial. Useless as I am here, I often think I should be still more so at home. Though my voice fails me, I can translate and converse. At home I should be nothing without being able to lift up my voice on high. I have just left my station, Cawnpore, in order to be silent six months. I have no cough, nor any sign of consumption, except that reading prayers, or preaching, or a slight cold, brings on pain in the chest. I am advised therefore to recruit my strength by rest. So I am come forth, with my face towards Calcutta, with an ulterior view to the sea. Nothing happened at Cawnpore after I wrote to you in September, but I must look to my journal.
I think of having my portrait taken in Calcutta, as I promised Mr. Simeon five years ago. Sabat's picture would also be a curiosity. Yesterday I carried Col. Wood to dine with me, at the Nabob Bahir All's. Sabat was there. The Colonel, who had been reading by the way the account of his conversion, in the Asiatic and East Society Report which I had given him, eyed him with no great complacency, and observed in French, that Sabat might not understand him, 'Il a l'air d'un sauvage.' Sabat's countenance is indeed terrible; noble when he is pleased, but with the look of an assassin when he is out of humour. I have had more opportunities of knowing Sabat than any man has had, and I cannot regard him with that interest which the 'Star in the East' is calculated to excite in most people. Buchanan says, I wrote (to whom I do not know) in terms of admiration and affection about him. Affection I do feel for him, but admiration, it" I did once feel it, I am not conscious of at present. I tremble for every thing our dear friends publish about our doings in India, lest shame come to us and them.
November 5. Calcutta. A sheet full, like the preceding, I had written, but the moment it is necessary to send off my letter, I cannot find it. That it does not go on to you is of little consequence, but into whose hands may it have fallen? It is this that grieves me. It was the continuance of my journal to Calcutta, where I arrived the last day in October. Constant conversation with dear friends here has brought on the pain in the chest again, so that I do not attempt to preach. In two or three weeks I shall embark for the Gulf of Persia, where if I live, I shall solace myself in my hours of solitude, with writing to you.
Farewell, beloved friend; pray for me, as you do I am sure, and doubt not of an unceasing interest in the heart and prayers of your ever affectionate,
9. Writing on a subject.
10. Arrived at Gazeepore after breakfast, and called on Col. G.; baptized some children. Many of the Roman Catholic parents demurred about sending their children, because Col. G. had very roughly treated Padre Mar-cellino, a short time since, and turned him out of cantonments, so out of revenge they thought at first of opposing the Colonel by refusing to send their children to me. But my chief object was to find out the remains of my poor flock, and sad indeed was the sight. See Memoir, p. 334.
11. In the evening came to at Buxar, and spent some hours at Colonel T--'s.
12. After marrying his son to Miss H,-- I came on.
13. Reached Chupran, and put up at Mr. L--'s, the collector.
14. (Sunday.) All the station, to the number of sixteen, attended divine service at his house; in the evening I prayed with the family.
15. Reached Dinapore. Dined at C------, with the few people remaining at the station.
16. Went to Bankipore, and staid at Mr. G--'s, called at --'s, and joined them with their school in morning prayer. Most of the rest of the day with Col. W--.
17. Breakfasted with the W--'s. Most of the day reading Dr. Hunt's Observations on Proverbs; I this day spoke with Mr. G--, on the sinful state in which he is living, but was grieved to see him determined to persist in it.
18. Read some portions of my Hindoostanee New Testament to Major General D--, and G--, who commended the work highly. Dined with Col. W--, at Bahir Ali's. Sabat was present.
19. 20. On the 20th arrived at Monghyr, gave notice for service.
21. (Sunday.) Performed divine service at Captain P--'s. All the Europeans were present. Dined at night with Captain N--, whose child I baptized.
22. Reached Boglipore, and spent the evening with Antonio, very agreeably. He mentioned Sebastiano, an Italian of Rome, who had been preaching in Persia and Arabia, and was just arrived at Calcutta; I must remember to find him out. We sat under a little shed, &c. (See Memoir, p. 334.)
27. Reached Cutwa.
28. (Sunday.) Passed with C--. I felt exceedingly distressed at the dissensions which divide the church so lamentably. However, I prayed with him sincerely and affectionately.
31. Called on the Roman Catholic Missionary at Hoogly, on Forsythe at Chinsorah, and in the evening arrived at Aldeen.
Aldeen, Nov. 1, 1810.
I continue my narrative from Ghazeepore. The men came down at night, about nine of them, and I spoke a good deal to them, and exhorted them to return and with full purpose of heart to cleave unto the Lord; but where there is no shepherd I am not sanguine in my hopes that they will keep together--the sheepfold will fall to pieces. Next day at Boglipore with Antonio. He has translated the Four Gospels, Acts, and Missal, into Hindoo exceedingly well. He had it written out in the worst kind of Nagree, but read it off fluently, exactly like a Brahmin. I was much delighted with his doings, but especially with his modesty. 25th. Entered the Hooghly with something of those sensations with which I should come in sight of the white cliffs of England. 26th. Spent the evening with P--. Next called on the Roman-Catholics at Hooghly; at last came to Aldeen at sun-set. Children jumping, shouting, and convoying me in troops to the house. They are a lovely family indeed, and I do not know when I have felt so delighted as at family worship last night. To-day Mr. Brown and myself have been consulting at the Pagoda.
To the Rev. D. Corrie.
November 3. Came down to Calcutta, called on Dr. Ward, and on Mr. Harrington, and then had the- long expected pleasure of meeting dear Thomason, and Mr. T. Several Christian friends were assembled at his house.
4. (Sunday.) Attended the old church, Dr. Ward preached. At night Mr. Thomason. Conversation with these dear friends I am now come amongst, has brought on such weakness and uneasiness in the chest, that I could take no part in the service.
7. Took my passage in a ship going direct to Bussorah, but afterwards by Mr. Udney's advice, altered my purpose, and made up my mind to go by way of Bombay.
8. Returned to Aldeen.
9. Spent the day at Col. Young's.
11. (Sunday ) Preached at the old church, on "As ye have therefore received Christ," &c. Afterwards to the congregation at eleven Mr. B. preached on "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,"
12. Breakfasted with Dr. Ward, who took me in his carriage to General St. Leger and Macan. Spent the evening very profitably at Mr. Harrington's with Mr. Thomason
13. Spent the evening at Mr. Myers. Returned to Aldeen.
Spent the day with Col. Young, and wrote to Bates.
14. 16. 17. 18. To Calcutta. Sat for my picture. (Sunday.) Preached on Acts xv. "Through much tribulation," &c. Afterwards at eleven, Dr. W. preached on, "What things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ "
19. After sitting for my picture, turned to Aldeen.
20-22. Writing for Sunday, and considering some Hebrew roots. On the 21st caught a cold, and kept awake much of the night by a cough, From this day perhaps I may date my decay. Nature shrinks from dissolution, and conscience trembles at the thought of a judgment to come. But I try to rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
25. (Sunday.) Preached at the old church, on, "While Paul reasoned of righteousness," &c. The Governor-general, Lord Minto, was present, desiring, as ·was supposed, to abolish the distinction which had been made been the two churches. One passage in my sermon appeared to some personal, and on reconsideration I thought it so myself, and was excessively distressed, at having given causeless offence, and perhaps preventing much good. Lord! pardon a blind creature. How much mischief may I do through mere thoughtlessness. December 2. Preached at eight, on "grace reigns," and was favoured with strength of body, and joy of heart, in proclaiming the glorious truth.
The captain of the ship after many excuses has at last refused to take me, on the ground that I might try to convert the Arab sailors, and so cause a mutiny in the ship. So I am quite out of heart, and more than half disposed to go to the right about, and come back to Cawnpore, for there is no ship to be heard of going to Bombay. Yesterday morning I went with Mr. Brown to breakfast with------. The patriarch spoke much and admirably. He delights me more and more; nothing he says but has the stamp of genius and wisdom.
To the Rev. D. Corrie.
7. Dined at the Governor-general's.
9. (Sunday.) Preached at eight, on, "the heart is deceitful above all things."
16. On "without shedding of blood is no remission." At night Mr. Y--, the newly-arrived chaplain.
23. (Sunday.) Preached on Psalm ix. 17- The night before, this awful subject was brought home to myself, and I had many solemn and affecting thoughts, respecting my own state and conduct. O that I may be enabled to walk more purely and holily, in the sight of this heart-searching God. Mr. B--, preached on "Put on the whole armour of God." Mr. T--, on the forgiveness of sins.
25. Preached with much comfort to myself, on, "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son," &c. Mr. B--, on, "Let your light so shine before men," &c. The whole sum collected about seven thousand rupees. At night Mr. T--, on, "Through the tender mercy of our God, whereby the day spring from on high hath visited us." This day how many of those who love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity are rejoicing in his birth. My dear L. remembers me.
30. Sunday preached in morning on the rich man and Lazarus. At night on Rev. xxii. "The Spirit and the Bride," &c.
31. Had a long dispute with Marshman, which brought on pain in the chest.